November 29

Make your home a clean and wonderful place to be.


I wouldn't call myself a slob but I am definitely indifferent to certain messes.  Right now, for instance, I have a day old load of laundry in the dryer, a messy bedroom, and a closet that seems to be decreasing in area as I write.  My car stays pretty neat and my bathroom is never dirty, though it is cluttered.  I wouldn't let people intimidate you into changing your lifestyle too much.  If you like clutter, enjoy your clutter (as long as your not one of those creepy hoarders that lives with rats).  I am comfortable with the state of my affairs right now.
AMANDA

I really like to have everything clean and organized around my house. Although I love to organize, I don't mind having a cluttered desk and closet. I know where everything is, so as long as I can find it, everything is fine. I make my home a wonderful place to be by hanging up pictures of my favorite things and things, and I write down inspiring quotes and place those where I can see them daily. I am also partial to candles and plants to give my space a more cozy feel.

This quote is above my desk: "Strive with all your hearts, raise up your voices and shout, until this dark world be filled with light..." -Abdul Baha

xx Brie

November 28

Decide to be happy and decide to be a good friend.


Since we have already covered certain aspects of this message, I decided to go in a different direction.  The author mentions that she felt like her song was "Free to Be You and Me" by Diana Ross. So what does everyone feel like their song is?  Don't worry about being pompous or embarrassing; it can be whatever you want it to be!  Please leave comments!
Mine are:
1. "Make Your Own Kind of Music" by Mama Cass
2. "Elle me Dit" by Mika
3. "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble
What are yours, Brie?
AMANDA

My song? Hmmmm. Well, "Elle me dit" could also be considered one of my songs! So ditto on that one. There is nothing better than having your own songs that never fail to make you happy. I love to jump around my room singing "Elle Me Dit" and these songs:
1. "Like A Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan
2. "All I Can See" by Brendan James
3. "Fly Me To The Moon" by Frank Sinatra

I turn up the music really loudly to drown out my terrible singing voice!!! :)

xx Brie

November 27

Cooking can make your entire house feel snug and cozy.  Putting apple cider in a pan can make the whole house smell sweet and autumn-y.


This is the last day of my insane relative visit.  The designated visiting house is filled with sweets, drinks, and left overs.  I think if I cooked anything else this weekend the house would explode.  I am going to cook dinner some time this week though.  And no, this does not mean my usual noodles and goat cheese (that is really tasty)!  I am going to do something different so I will keep you posted.  I am pretty sure they have arrived which means I have to emerge from my hiding place.  Until tomorrow...
AMANDA
P.S. I think I will try lemon curd...

I love the idea of trying a new food, Amanda! I am going to do that, too. :) I really like to burn autumn scented candles to warm the house. By the way, how is your 1001 foods book going? I'm thinking of making a soup some time this week. That way it will have to simmer for a while on the stove, giving the smell and warmth time to fill the house. I will keep you posted!

xx Brie

November 26

When you lose someone you love, realize that you are not the only going through the grief.  Exchange funny anecdotes or memories about the one you have lost.  Laugh.


Okay, so this is a weird coincidence.  I should look ahead in the other messages to see if they continue to tell my future.


When my aunts and mom first heard about my grandpa dying, it was awful.  But then one of my aunts started laughing and remembering stories about my grandfather.  I was thoroughly impressed.  I don't think it is disrespectful at all to laugh.  At my funeral, I hope people will get a kick out of my various wacky antics rather than letting the news destroy them.  My grandpa would want them to be the silly, wild girls they were growing up.
AMANDA
Thank you so much, Brie!  You are one of the kindest people I know!:)

I agree, Amanda, it isn't disrespectful to laugh. I would love nothing more if, at my funeral, my friends and family go around and all tell funny stories about me. I love to laugh most of all, and that is what I would like to be remembered by. I'd like to think that I would react to a family members death by laughing about the good times. I guess you never really know, though; it's always different in the moment. And, Amanda, it is very impressive that your aunt is strong enough to react like that. She sounds like she is in a very good place.

xx Brie
P.S. I had so much fun tonight! I love your family!!!

November 25

Dance to some rock and roll.


Last night, my grandfather died.  He had dementia and Parkinson's so I guess he has been dead for a long time now.  Of course, I don't think the people we love ever really leave us if we still cherish their memories and keep them in our hearts.  It is hard to see my aunts going through this.


So today, I am going to take this message to heart and urge them dance.  I am not going to make them dance if they don't want to but I will dance with them.  Of course, once they actually see me dance, they will regret it but still.  I am going to do whatever I can to cheer them up.
AMANDA

Oh, perfect, I am an expert at today's post, as I do this every day. I know this is very cliche to say, but, Amanda, I am so, so, so sorry. You are one of the strongest women I know. Your aunts are so lucky to have you. Hey, we can dance for your aunts together! They will either be terribly frightened of our awful dancing skills, or they will laugh until their sides hurt. Hopefully the latter.

xx Brie

November 24

Don't over exert yourself during family gatherings.  Breathe deeply, drink plenty of water, and give yourself time alone, even if it is in ten minute increments.


I am writing this post at 9:28 AM.  I woke up and realized someone was in the shower.  All my toiletries are in the bathroom and my book is downstairs.  So I locked the door and am waiting to pounce when the bathroom is available.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!


If you over exert yourself during family gatherings, you will grow sullen.  This may be the only time that you see certain relatives, so it is important to be yourself (if you are sullen person, you have nothing to worry about).  I have to remind my mom and sister to do this as well so there are no meltdowns.
AMANDA

I spend a lot of time with my extended family; we are really close. I never really have meltdowns caused by spending too much time with them. However, my immediate family is an entirely different story. I cannot spend too much time with them at once. We don't see eye to eye on most topics, so I can only take them in small doses. I really value my alone time.


On a different note: yes, it is important to really listen to your body, especially at this time of the year. Even though it is 'tradition' to some people to over-eat (is that hyphenated? is it one word?) don't make yourself sick, and, as the tip says at the beginning of the post, drink plenty of water. The dry air during winter can really dry your skin out; stay hydrated!

xx Brie

November 23

Focus on matters that are purely productive and progressive.


So the relatives started to arrive for Thanksgiving weekend today.  This always throws off my schedule and routines but I am going to try my best to update this blog every day.  By the way, Brie, I am really excited to have you on Saturday!


Hobbies are interesting to me.  People that have no hobbies are usually boring.  I even appreciate people who have interest in an activity that repulses me (namely sports) as long as they are doing something.  I think we should learn from our hobbies and they should aid us in our growth.  I am constantly learning from these blogs.  I think my blogs definitely fall under the category of productive and progressive.
AMANDA

I'm so excited!!! And kind of nervous; I don't know what to expect. :)

I would feel kind of hypocritical if I told you to never waste your time doing something not productive. There's this quote from the office : Michael: "When I discovered YouTube I didn't work for five days." I lose myself on YouTube sometimes. I'm really ashamed to admit that. I keep telling myself that I have so many better things to do: work, reading, etc. I am going to cut back on my YouTube time drastically. Watching those videos doesn't benefit me. I'm stretched for time as it it, there is no need for me to further waste my time on such trivial things. Easier said than done....

xx Brie

November 22

The older you get, the more important it is to remain strong and healthy.  Exercise (even small amounts) is important in your physical and emotion well being.


I think it is time I share the boating incident of '11.


My sister and I were in Annecy, France.  It really is a beautiful place; probably my favorite city in France.  We decided to take out a paddle boat out on Lake Annecy (you can get an excellent view of the mountains there).  We then decided to jump into the lake and swim.  I decided to be the brave one and jump in first because we were both hesitant about the temperature of the water.  I jumped in, but my bikini bottom got caught on the pegs so you can imagine how comical that looked.  I ripped my bottoms but got free (with no help from my hysterical sister, thank you very much).  We then swam a little while and decided to leave.  I could not get back on the boat.


At first, I thought it was a simple issue of not positioning myself correctly.  I then realized it was a complete lack of strength.  My sister tried to push me on (I looked tres risible as the French would say).  This failed to work.  Utter panic took over because we had a time limit and I simply could not get back on.  Would I have to swim to shore?  Call for help?  It didn't help that French people were taking pictures and laughing at the spectacle.  My sister finally talked me through it (she is quite possibly the best older sister in the world; don't take that personally, Brie).


Sadly, this is not the most humiliating moment of my life.  I wish it was...


The point of this story was that getting in shape isn't just important to your physical well being but also to ensure that similar embarrassing moments don't happen to you.
AMANDA
P.S.  But oh yeah, Brie!  You tripping up the stairs once was completely humiliating.:)

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic, Amanda. It was embarassing! I don't care what you say. :) And no offense taken. In physical fitness testing in high school, I always scored a '3' on push up tests. A '3'. To this day I have a complete lack of upper body strength. About a year and a half ago I started doing a routine of yoga every day. Since I began yoga my mind has been calmer, I get sick less often and I have much less tension in my muscles. Yoga is very good for toning muscles, which is what most women look for in a workout. It is also very relaxing and centering. In addition, yoga strengthens your core; a strong core improves your balance, thus fewer embarassing falls will occur.

xx Brie

November 21

Be nice to someone for no reason today.  Open the door for a random person, smile at someone, and be kind when you are driving.  Your reward doesn't have to be their thanks; just know that you made a difference in someone's life (even if it is in a tiny way).


This one was hard to remember to do.  I always hold open the door for other people and surprisingly enough, a lot of people do the same.  I did forget to smile at a random person, but I can do that tomorrow.  I have to practice not doing it in a really creepy way.  Finally, I am one of those people who considers it a personal affront to my mother if someone so much as tries to merge in my lane (I think I inherit that from my grandfather: "I could be driving in the Sahara Desert as midnight and I would still get stuck behind all the trucks").  Still, I tried to be as forgiving and kind as I could be.  I also did a bit of charity work today so I have that going for me.
AMANDA
Brie: I am so happy for you!!!!

I constantly have a smile on my face. I've been told that I have a 'Mona Lisa' smile. So I don't have a problem with smiling at people. I am naturally a very friendly person, so I think I make small differences in peoples lives daily. My life has been going so well lately that I have been in an even better mood than normal. I like to call my Grandma and my Aunt as much as I can to remind them that I care about what goes on in their lives and that I am genuinely interested. It's the little things in life... :)

xx Brie

Thanks, girlie! :)

"Let your light shine. Be a source of strength and courage. Share your wisdom. Radiate love." - Wilferd Peterson

November 20

Whenever someone keeps a promise, it is a refreshing relief; you know that you can trust the person in the future.  Always try to keep your promises.  If you don't think you can, don't make a promise in the first place.

Okay, so I did end up looking like a pompous ass yesterday (though I appreciate the compliment Brie!:)).  If any of our readers want to comment on yesterday's post and follow my example, I will be greatly obliged.

I don't think anyone deliberately attempts to break their promises.  Sometimes we forget and sometimes it is completely out of our hands.  I am usually good at keeping my promises to other people but I am less skillful at keeping the promises I make to myself since I am the only one I disappoint.  Today I am going to try to keep promises I make to myself and treat myself like I would a friend.  Unless my friend asks me to work out, in which case, no way in hell.
AMANDA
Brie: I got some relatives to vote on the poll.  Expect an influx of Beatles!!

Amanda, you could never seem pompous! You are one of the most humble people I know.

I think sometimes people are peer-pressured into making promises. They don't want to disappoint anyone, so they make a promise they know they cannot keep. I keep most of the promises I make, and I consciously put efforts towards my commitments I made to others. And, yes, it is so refreshing and a huge relief when someone comes through on their promise. Keeping your promises is the best bet for strengthening and building a relationship or friendship.

Another thing I would like to bring up today is that lately I have been so frustrated with the amount of work I have to do! They say that the journey is the reward, and I believe it. There are just so many other things I would rather be doing. Isn't my life, my journey my own? Can't I do what I want with my time? Unfortunately, no. 
xx Brie

Oh, it's on, Amanda!!! :) Bob Dylan will prevail!

November 19

Women often do not promote themselves in the same way men do.  You can promote yourself professionally without acting like a show off.  Realize and use your own strengths.


I often disregard compliments.  I am never rude about it, though.  For instance, I get told that I am a good writer a lot.  I do really like writing so I always figured people were just being nice so they would not spoil my fun.  This blog is all about change, however, so here we go:


I AM A DAMN GOOD WRITER AND PEOPLE DON'T JUST SAY THAT TO BE NICE!


Well, that was weird.  I am going to start saying that to myself more often.  Brie, do the same thing with a compliment you get often so I don't look like a pompous ass, please (I am taking baby steps here, people!).
AMANDA

I don't know what to say about myself. When people compliment me, they usually say something like "oh, I really like your 'insert article of clothing here'". I tell myself that I am a nice person a lot, though, as a confidence booster. I don't usually pad my ego, because I don't want to turn into a big arrogant jerk. Not that that is what Amanda is doing! Of course not, she is an AMAZING writer, and I love reading her posts every day. I just don't have a specific talent that people point out to me all of the time.

xx Brie

November 18

Not everyone celebrates the same holidays as you or has the same beliefs.  Be open and kind.


This is so weird that this is the post!  Today I overheard a guy say that atheists were "depressed dumb asses".  Depressed, I suppose, because we don't believe in an afterlife and he expects us to be scared and sad all the time about inevitable death.  Dumb asses because ?????. Now, I know that he is ignorant and should not be given a second thought, but I hate even being in the vicinity of someone that rude.  I think even the most open minded people have their prejudices (I have a small thing against the French), but be careful what you say.  Even if you say something in jest, you will (should) instantly regret how ignorant you sound.  The holidays are truly a great time to say something ridiculously stupid in front of large groups of people after having one too many drinks.
The most perfect example of this:

AMANDA

I have a friend who thinks that she is better than everyone else because of her religion. It really makes me angry when she disgregards things that I say as unimportant because she doesn't believe them. When I told her that I was studying Zen Buddhism, she was very skeptical and said in a very snobbish, sarcastic tone "Well, good luck with that." Why can't we all just focus on the similarities of the religions instead of the differences? Think before you speak, and be aware of who else is in your company. Or even better yet, change your way of thinking so you are more accepting of others differences. You will save yourself the trouble of so much conflict, drama, and embarassment.

xx Brie

November 17

Act as though a situation is going exactly according to plan.  This will help you stay in control.


I thought this was a really interesting idea.  I didn't exactly get to use it today because I wasn't caught in a situation that was spiraling out of control.  I also have something to add to this message.  Sometimes, I spend hours stressing over how a certain event or day will go and I can't stop imagining the worst possible scenarios.  I actually think you should imagine the worst case scenario.  Picture it, however ridiculously improbable it may be, then figure out what you do if you were in that situation.  Once you have made a plan, stop thinking about it.  If it crosses you mind again, just say "Oh, I already solved that problem!" and then move on.
AMANDA
P.S.  See, Di?  I am learning!

I think of worst case scenarios, too. But also, another part of me has this, sometimes irrational, hope that the certain event or day will be perfect. I can get my hopes up so easily. It really concurs with the Zen philosophy to have the 'if I don't have any expectations, I won't be disappointed' attitude. I have a really hard time doing this. I really like to plan out different scenarios, as I think I have mentioned before. That way I have some idea of a plan of action if a conflict occurs. In addition, if something unexpected happens, I truly believe that there is something to a woman's intuition. My intuition has not steered me wrong yet!
"Trust yourself and you will know how to live." - Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

xx Brie

November 16

Even if our friendships don't end in the way we would have liked, cherish the good parts.  Don't dwell on what broke you apart but rather what drew you together in the first place.


I will admit, I changed the message.  It originally just focused on friendships with other women.  I actually have never had a friendship with a woman that ended abruptly.  Some have simply faded away, but I never had a big blowout.  I have, however, had that happen with a male friend of mine.  So today I remembered three of the best moments I ever had with him.  It felt wonderful to relive funny memories and to let go of resentments. This might be my favorite message as of yet.
AMANDA

I have had a huge fall out with a female friend in the past. It happened when I was very young and I consider myself to be a completely different person now. I cannot even remember any happy memories with her. It was always somewhat unpleasant to be around her, as we had such different dispositions. I was drawn to her in the first place because she included me in things and I was new to my school. I am going to be thankful for our fight and separation because even though I lost a friend, it feels like I gained so much more. I am entirely convinced that I would not be the person I am today if I was still friends with her. I agree, Amanda, I love this message!

xx Brie

P.S. I wanted to share with you what today's message is for my Dalai Lama inspiration calendar as I really loved it: To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities.

November 15

It is hard to get rid of old habits if you are constantly surrounded by the same old, same old.  Get away for a weekend or take a long walk.


I would love to be able to leave at the drop of a hat but unfortunately, I cannot.  This is a lifelong dream of mine that I hope to fulfill someday: moving from place to place and seeing the world.  In today's world, though, it is fortunate that we can escape through videos, pictures, and movies available on the Internet.  Sometimes I watch videos of certain parks in England, because I miss Great Britain so much.  Every once in a while, I think you should research your favorite place in the world.  Or better yet, move there.
AMANDA

My dream career would involve creating my own work schedule and traveling the world.  However, now I cannot just abandon my work. :( Books and movies are my escapes of choice. I love to explore my dream destinations online, but sometimes I get sad that I can't go there right away. I have always dreamed of going to Japan, India, Australia, and Greece. Another escape of mine is going to museums. I get lost in the long hallways filled with inspiration. The works of art transport me to another time and I can imagine that I am with the artist. Even if you cannot find the means or just don't have the time to travel to your dream destinations and escape your hectic life, you can surely find refuge of some sort in whatever appeals to you.

xx Brie

November 14

To avoid getting too stressed, breathe in deeply.  Try to do this every hour.


I have always used this strategy whenever I am getting freaked out.  Breathing slowly through your nose is also a great way to avoid choking.  Sometimes, you feel yourself ready to cough and choke in the middle of a silent room.  Breathe deeply through your nose and you will be okay (unless there is actually something lodged in your throat in which case, don't take my advice; my CPR certificate has been expired for six years now). Anyway, this strategy also works whenever you are getting ready to do some scary like giving a presentation or getting an injection (ahem...Brie).
AMANDA

Well, excuse me for having a fear of injections! :) I have really honed my deep breathing through daily meditation, and I try to do a few exercises during times of great stress. The deep breathing is great during times of extreme stress or anxiety, as it can help slow down the heart rate relatively quickly. Also, if you practice deep breathing throughout your day, try to relax your muscles as sell. This way, they will have less of a chance of becoming knotted and sore. I know for me, personally, being hunched over my work all day can really hurt my back and shoulders. Though these techniques are simple, I find that they are very effective in managing my stress.

xx Brie

November 13

Never let yourself be bullied.


Unfortunately, I don't think you can always prevent bullying.  Your boss will bully you, the government will bully you, officers will bully you, and teachers will bully kids.  Bullies cannot operate without some degree of control over you.  However, this is no reason to let a partner, stranger, or friend take advantage of you.  Realize that you are awesome and don't need anything from them!
AMANDA

While you cannot prevent bullying, certainly do not put up with it. Stand up for yourself! Also, if you see someone else being bullied, don't be a bystander! That person might not be as strong as you; they might not be able to stand up for themselves. Just remember that while you may not be able to stop a bully, you are better than them. You can rise above the mean intentions behind their actions and choose to be a positive influence in the lives of those around you.

xx Brie

November 12

Whenever anyone does something particularly mean or irritating, don't let it go to waste!  Remember how annoying it is and know never to act like that!


So right now in my life someone is attempting to make me feel really guilty.  God, I hate guilt trips.  They never work with me; the person trying it always just gets on my nerves more.  When someone has wronged you, I feel you have two choices. 1. Forgive them and move on or 2. Ask for an apology because you feel like you really deserve one.  I hate the half assed, whiny option.  I have learned by my present experience, however, that I should never try the guilt trip method as it is incredibly irritating and unsuccessful.
AMANDA

I think 'treat others the way you want to be treated' really rings true here. When someone makes me feel so horrible, I never want to make someone else go through what I did. That motivates me to be the best person I can be. Whenever my parents did something I don't agree with or something that upset me, I made a promise to myself to never put my children through that (if I have any). If we can all recall the birthday fiasco when my family completely ignored my birthday, so I ended up sitting in my house all day crying, I resolved to always make my friends' or future children's birthdays special.

xx Brie

November 11

Even if you have made some bad decisions in the past, what matters is that you choose to make the right decisions today and in the future. Every day is a new day.

Today I am going to give myself permission to let go of regrets and remorse over things that I am not proud or happy that I have done in the past. I acknowledge that it does not benefit me to carry around the guilt and the weight of those memories. I choose to hold on and cherish happy memories instead of dwelling on the unpleasant ones. Today is a chance to create for yourself a new, fresh start. No time like the present!

xx Brie

P.S. here is one of my favorite affirmations: I am the creator of my destiny and I create my destiny daily. I am fulfilled, content, and alive, and I love my life.


I just got back from a rather stressful family visit.  I am in that travel haze where I don't know what time it is or what is going on.  I really just want to unpack and eat Doritos.  However, I am going to refrain from the latter because I need to eat something healthy after shoveling in junk food all weekend (I managed to eat an entire pizza!).  As for the above message: pretty much what Brie said, I mean I really felt like that covered it!
AMANDA

November 10

Sit in silence for at least five minutes and discover something about yourself.


Sorry, no time!  I am going out to dinner with my cousin tonight and I am leaving town tomorrow.  However, I will still try to sit down before I go to bed to contemplate my existence or whatever.  Still, I can apply some happy on purpose principles to this weekend.  For instance, even though I am visiting family, I am going to keep a positive attitude and not get stressed.  Likewise, I am not going to throw away the entire weekend with junk food and laziness because I have tons of work to do.
AMANDA

I couldn't get complete silence because my dog was snoring as he was sleeping next to me. :) I try to sit in silence and meditate every day if I can. Today the feelings I had while sitting in silence were: conflicted, frustrated, and anxious. But on the bright side I was also excited for the long weekend. There is a used book sale tomorrow! Yay! Let's see how much money I can spend... and how many books I can carry at one time! :) While sitting quietly I also realized that I am very, very tired, as I almost fell asleep.

xx Brie

November 9

Whether you think so or not, you have had a profound, positive impact on other people's lives.


It is easy to think about ways that other people have influenced your life, but what about your influence on other people's lives?  This is a bit harder.  One time my friend told me that she was really racist before she met me.  My sister once told me (or rather told a rude guy we were having dinner with in France) that I was the most driven person she knew.  My mom told me that I was her hero.  I am not trying to throw a "look how cool Amanda is party" (that is scheduled for next Tuesday) but rather to remind myself that I am not a totally invisible entity.  I will always be able to remind myself of these amazing things that people have said to me whenever I feel small.  My advice would be to make a list of the nicest things that people have ever said to you and remind yourself of the list whenever you feel dejected.
AMANDA

I love your list suggestion, Amanda! We could even hang our lists somewhere that we would always be able to see them. By the way, when is my invitation for your "look how cool Amanda is party"? Is it in the mail?
Lately, I have been thinking about how much others influence my life. I always feel that I care way more about some of the people in my life than they do about me. (This does not include you, Amanda). :) It never occurs to me that I may just be as special to them as they are to me. The nicest things that people have ever said to me that stand out the most are:
1. When a family friend told me that I reminded them of Audrey Hepburn
2. When my aunt told me that my views were very worldly
3. When my cousin did her school report on the person that she admires the most about me

xx Brie

November 8

Put pressure on specialists whenever you have an appointment to see them.  Their time is not more valuable than yours.


I really don't agree with this message.  I actually never mind waiting for appointments; you get to read!  Also, you really cannot get too upset about certain doctors being late for appointments.  If you think about it, they are probably only late because they were occupied with other sick patients.  Now, I know there are exceptions to this but why get upset about it?  If the doctor is not ready, he is not going to be ready any sooner if you bother the receptionist.  Just sit, relax, and chill out.
AMANDA
P.S. Brie, you did not overreact Saturday!:)

I agree. I never mind waiting for appointments, because I know that if I want to have a quality meeting with the specialist I need to be patient and let others have their turn. I wouldn't want to short-change someone else. (Is that hyphenated?) On the other hand it is acceptable and understandable to, from time to time, get a little bit anxious if the specialist is running way behind and you have another appointment to go to. It all depends on the situation, I suppose. Whenever I am faced with a tough situation, I ask myself, "Who am I going to be in this moment?" Deciding what kind of person I want to be helps me focus my intention and attitude so that I am happy with how I reacted after the fact. (That seems very unrelated to waiting for appointments, but I always think about that when I see someone else in the waiting room with me freaking out about the slow service.)

xx Brie

Thanks, Amanda :)

November 7

Take moments out of your day to be grateful for your life, especially after you hear of a tragedy or disaster.


Ah, the double edged sword of gratitude.  One the one hand, I agree that you should be grateful for everything you have, especially when some people have so little.  On the other hand, that is a horrible feeling when you are venting to someone and they say "yeah, but at least you are not...[insert thing to make you feel guilty here].  My favorite was when someone told me "at least you don't have cancer!"


So yes, you should be grateful.  But don't mistake gratitude for guilt.  My advice would be to list five things you are grateful for as often as you remember to.  Also, never try to "put things into perspective" (unless people are being completely ridiculous) when you are listening to someone vent about something for the first time.  Especially if the woman has PMS; that is downright dangerous.
AMANDA

I make a conscious effort to not complain about my problems constantly to other people. I just hate it when I have to sit and listen to others complain about their stupid, insignificant problems, so I try not to do that myself.

Oh, Amanda, I know! I absolutely hate it when people try to "put things into perspective" for me. I am so grateful that I have friends who just let me feel what I am feeling and don't make me feel guilty or stupid about being upset about one thing or another. For example, there was a bit of drama at our movie night a week ago (which you might know if you have been following our blog recently) and even though in retrospect what happened was not that big of a deal, I am so grateful to Amanda for not making me feel worse by trying to make me stop feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes you need to soak in the sorrow and experience the pain. That has always worked for me.

xx Brie

November 6

Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean you forget.  You can choose to forgive someone, even if you don't want them in your life anymore.


I have cut people out of my life before.  I really haven't done it to be petty, I just didn't like the person I was around them (or I just hated the person).  I had to cut my best friend out of my life once because we could not get along.  We would argue with each other 90% of the time.  I thought he was a liar and he thought I was condescending.  Finally, we had a huge fall out and I haven't spoken to him since.  But I do forgive him for everything he said.  Someday, I will tell him that.
AMANDA

A long, long time ago I had a fall out with my best friend. I haven't spoken to her since. I have forgiven her for everything she had said and done, but I still remember everything that we went through together very clearly. I don't regret pushing her out of my life; she was a horrible influence. I often think about what kind of person I would be like if I had stayed friends with her. I suspect a very mean one. I ran into her recently and we didn't speak, but I observed her from a distance and saw that she hadn't changed. We are now complete opposites and I couldn't be more happy she and I parted ways. Maybe someday we will have a conversation about the old days and I will be able to tell her that I keep no grudges against her.

xx Brie

November 5

Let go of the past.  It is a part of you but that doesn't mean you should constantly relive bad memories or awful experiences.


This is one of those topics that I feel like we have talked about many times before.  I don't really have anything new to add except that you can't make other people forgive you.  I am not saying you shouldn't apologize or try to make up for your mistake.  However, if the person refuses to forgive you, you should let yourself move on and simply forgive yourself.  If you constantly repeat that you have forgiven yourself, eventually you will.  At least, according to Diana Fletcher.
AMANDA

I completely agree, Amanda. I am the kind of person who cannot stand it when someone doesn't like me, and I make it my mission to change their mind. (This doesn't happen often; I'd like to say that I am pretty likeable.) I should probably learn to get over that. There will always be someone in my life who doesn't like me. As much as I'd like to be friends with everyone, I know that is not realistic. As long as I am secure in myself I will find happiness.

xx Brie

November 4

Are you getting anything out of the anger or resentment you are holding on to?  If not, let it go.


I am really sleepy right now and I just want to crawl into my bed with Captain Blood.  But your tireless blogger will power through.  So today, I decided to let go of something really rude that a woman said to me yesterday.  I am inadvertently rude and sarcastic half the time, so why not just forget about it?  Except today she was really racist.  The point is, though, that I let go of the initial meanness!  I am proud of that.  However, that degree of racism is never accidental, so I am not going to forgive on that point.  You are ruining my Happy on Purpose moment, lady!
AMANDA

Ugh. I know who Amanda is talking about, and let me tell you, she is no walk in the park. I just make myself sick over resentment towards people. And I obviously cannot travel back in time to redo an awkward moment, so I will just have to do the next best thing and forget about it.
My grandma gave me some really good advice today. She told me that I was "just as good as anyone else". Now, I know that seems really obvious, but when I am around, say, a crush, my self confidence and self worth can go down. I tend to place people that I like in that way on a pedestal of sorts. I need to remind myself that they are human, even if if doesn't seem like it. Next time that happens I am just going to say that to myself.

xx Brie

November 3

No matter who we are, we have all learned from life.  Celebrate your awesomeness.


I know I have learned from life.  The lessons we tend to focus on are the ones from the bad experiences.  However, you can also learn from the truly amazing ones.  So I decided to make a list of what I have learned about myself through my best and worst memories.
1. I can be strong and brave.
2. I can sacrifice my own happiness and comfort for others.
3. I am adventurous.
4. I am truly unique.
5. I am (mostly) proud of my memories.  I don't have to exaggerate my worst or best memories to make myself seem "interesting".
6. France is hell on Earth for me.
AMANDA

We all experience thrilling, exciting highs and devastating lows in our lives. There is a Buddhist saying that goes something like, "Sometimes you have to go down in order to go up". Though the saying is simple, the sentiment is very true. Do you ever think, 'Hey, if I hadn't had this bad thing happen to me, then I would not have met this person' and so on and so forth. I know I do. I have made peace with the horrible things that have happened in my life and am now appreciative that those events strengthened my relationships with people close to me.

In the spirit of celebrating our awesomeness:

I did that once, by the way.

xx Brie

November 2

It is especially important to keep a sense of humor this time of year.  Laugh.


Here we go:

AMANDA

Okay, Amanda is the Queen of funny YouTube clips, so here is my weak attempt to top her. :)

I hope you guys think these are funny... sometimes I think I have a very specific sense of humor and that no one else gets it.

xx Brie

November 1

Autumn is a beautiful time of the year.  Enjoy it.


Today, the fog was ridiculously thick. Driving this morning was a nightmare (especially since four different people tried to cut me off) although it wasn't as a bad as Saturday night when my best friend almost killed me.  Still pretty bad, though.  Right now, the sky is a beautiful shade of blue and the trees are still hanging onto their multicolored leaves.  That being said, I have been inside all day and don't plan on leaving after 5:30.  Still, I think looking out the window and appreciating how beautiful nature is can be beneficial as well. 

Now, isn't that pretty?  Not pretty enough for me to hike, but still pretty.
AMANDA

Autumn is my absolute favorite time of year. The trees are absolutely stunning and the crisp, fresh air is so refreshing. Last Saturday, though, we had this freak snow storm! In October! It was shocking, but not unpleasant. I listened to Dean Martin's "Baby, It's Cold Outside" all day long. Hey, it technically isn't a Christmas song per se... :) I wish we had more places to hike around here; the only places to take a walk are suburban neighborhoods.

xx Brie